The Wheezer Society

Horrible Casting Mistakes - William Bendix as Babe Ruth

by Jay Amicarella

What?!  No beer in the other hand?

A recent discussion with a couple of Wheezers gave me the idea for a new series of articles, of which this is the first:  Horrible casting jobs by Hollywood in popular films of the past.  These will be presented in no particular order, so don't look at Bendix as the Bambino in 1948's "The Babe Ruth Story"  as the apex, or nadir, of casting errors.  It's such a subjective category that it is largely a matter of personal preference as to who garners the absolute worst casting of all time.  But trust me when I say that this, and future entries, are all cases that make you wonder what the hell studio execs were thinking when they chose the actor for the role.  And how freaking deluded that actor must have been to believe he/she could not only play the part, but give it something no one else could!

Take our opening role, the challenge of playing Babe Ruth in his own bio.  We'll give William Bendix a hair more slack than modern actors, given the stranglehold Hollywood had on actors back then, and the pictures they forced them into.  Maybe he didn't want the role? Whatever, Willam B. in no way resembled the Babe, who actually looked more like a gorilla than a human being.  And you'll cringe when you witness the 42-yr old Bendix, hair dyed dark to try and capture youth, portraying Ruth as a teenage orphan, complete with "Gee, Brother Matthias, I didn't mean to break that window" kind of dialogue.

As bad as the casting was, the script, and the execution of it, are even worse.  The notorious alcoholic and womanizing Ruth, known for his gross appetites both physical and sexual,  is written for the screen as just a misunderstood, simple-minded goof, with not a bad bone in his body.  The famous incident when newsmen of the day saved his fat ass from scandal, by covering up a boozy sojourn with a hooker, is presented in the film as gospel.  Yep, the Sultan of Swat missed that game cuz he was visiting a dying boy in a hospital.  (!)  And the ludicrous finale has the world mourning as the heroic Ruth is lifted up to the clouds from his deathbed, as a heavenly choir salutes a Great American. I kid you not.

So, let's have fun with this new series.  Feel free to use the 'Comments' section not only to give me feedback on the latest entry, but to nominate your own favorite examples of Hollywood casting at its worst.  Fellow Wheezer Tom O'Brien has already suggested John Wayne's awful portrayal of Genghis Khan in "The Conqueror" as a HORRIBLE CASTING MISTAKE.  And Wheezer Steve Lindstedt offered Rod Steiger's cringe-worthy performance as W.C. Fields.  What are your yours?  Let me know, and if I use your idea, the subsequent article will give you credit in full.

by Jay Amicarella

Happy Halloween! Furious Furniture - Movie Trailer

Furniture. It's abused everyday, especially in restaurants. Now, it's furious. Furious Furniture. © 1985 The Wheezer Society & Wheezer Productions
You can also view the entire film at FuriousFurniture.com

Karloff's Koffin Guest Tony Curtis

A Classic Romance

Yes, friends, Scott and Angie Leverenz just passed the 20 yr mark in their marriage, and as you can see from Dick and Liz representing them, they're still as in love as newlyweds!  September 7th was the day, in the beginning of the tenth decade of the last century, to put it in some perspective.  Happy Anniversary, you kuh-way-zee kidz! 

posted by Jay Amicarella

"Hope Floats" Best Lines from Favorite Movies

Bernice Pruitt: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would to scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just picked up a club and killed it.
Justin Matisse: Now that's a sad story.
Bernice Pruitt: If you liked the skunk, which we didn't.

I know, I know, this is a chick-flick.  But for those of us who gave huge rations of shit to the poor slobs who dared to date our divorced mothers, little Mae Whitman's abuse of Harry Connick, jr approaches something like legend, in 1998's Hope Floats."

posted by Jay Amicarella

Karloff's Koffin Guest Dennis Hopper

Visit the another Wheezer Society Website Karloff's Koffin

"The Great Santini" Best Lines From Favorite Movies- Special Mother's Day Edition

by Jay Amicarella | Blythe Danner (as Lillian Meechum):  "My Dear Son...My Dear Ben...My Dear Friend, who becomes a man today.  I wanted to write you a letter about being a man.  And what that means in a fuller sense.  I wanted to tell you that gentleness is the quality I most admired in men.  And then I remembered how gentle you are, so I decided to write something else.  It's just this:  I want you to know that whatever you do, or wherever you go, you walk with my blessing, and love.  I've had my regrets, and many sadnesses, but I will never regret the night you were born.  I thought I knew about love, and the boundaries of love, until I raised you for these past eighteen years.  I knew nothing about love.  This has been your gift to me.  Happy Birthday, Mama."

Pat Conroy, maybe the greatest novelist of our generation, knew all about the special bond between Mother and Son when he wrote the semi-autobiographical "The Great Santini,"  made into a very good film starring Robert Duvall and Blythe Danner in 1979.  This scene, where Ben Meechum (played by Michael  O'Keefe)  reads the letter his mother included with his school lunch on his 18th birthday, had me in tears when I first saw it in it's original run in Portland.  And it's done it to me every time since.  It evokes my own mother so strongly that it leaves me weak.  It captures the essence of the mother/son relationship perfectly.  She is our first major love affair, our protector, nurturer, and greatest backer.  It's that love that causes huge football players to mouth "Hi, Mom!"  when the camera catches them on the sidelines.  My love to all of you on your special day. 

And just a word about Blythe Danner.  She was the perfect choice for Lillian Meechum, the quiet Southern beauty who tempered the excesses of her Marine fighter-pilot husband.  Ms Danner is one of those rare women who can captivate a room without doing anything but show up.  Like they said in "Mi Familia,"  she's a "wow." Jay Amicarella

"Straw Dogs" - Best Lines From Favorite Movies

Chris Cawsey (The rat catcher):  " Their dyin' is my livin', you might say.  Smell a rat, see a rat, kill a rat.  That's me, that's Chris Cawsey!  Mr Sumner![Dustin Hoffman]  Rats is life!"

The main reason I bought one of the first Beta-Maxes way back when,  was so that I could own movies like 1971's "Straw Dogs," and study the genius of director Sam Peckinpah shot by shot.  Well, the beta machine has gone the way of the Dodo, but "Straw Dogs" has aged amazingly through the years.  It still packs an emotional wallop, and remains one of the best studies of violence ever put to film.

I heard a rumor this morning that a re-make is in the works.  I pray it's not true.  There is no way any director today could match Peckinpah's classic, and why try?  What about this masterpiece film could possibly be improved upon?  And what the execs always forget, when they are contemplating a re-make, is not just the film itself, but the particular time in history it was originally released is just as important to its overall effect as any other aspect- the cinematography, music, etc. 

1971 was smack in the middle of the most pacifistic era America has ever known.  Largely due to the war in Viet Nam, objection to violence of any kind was at an all-time high, which proved an irresistible lure to Sam Peckinpah, who viewed violence as a sometimes absolutely necessary cathartic act. 

So, now you want to re-make this statement on violence in an era where the public's attitude is so blase about it that a war in Iraq, replete with car-bombings and suicidal attacks on innocent citizenry, can't drag folks away from texting each other over "American Idol" results?  Please, don't do this.

Here's an idea, you lazy jerks.  Put down the phone, sit at your keyboard and write something original to be filmed!  Or do like Peckinpah did when he made the literary "The Siege at Trencher's Farm" into "Straw Dogs."  Take a book that's never been filmed, and translate it for the screen. There's plenty of material out there to choose from.

Jay Amicarella

The Wind and The Lion- Best Lines From Favorite Movies

Teddy Roosevelt: "The American Grizzly Bear is the symbol of the American Character: Strength, wisdom, ferocity...a little blind and reckless at times.  But courageous, beyond all doubt.  One other trait goes with all the previous. Loneliness. The bear lives out his life alone.  Indomitable, unconquered, but always alone.  He has no real allies, only enemies, but none are as great as he. 
The American Grizzly embodies the spirit of America.  He should be our symbol.  Not that ridiculous eagle!  He's no more than a dandified vulture!  (Leans toward a reporter who's busy taking down every word) Dandified!"
Brian Keith as Teddy Roosevelt shows how the Grizzly does it in 1975's "The Wind and the Lion,"  writer/director John Milius' classic adventure.  jay amicarella

When I'm 64

If you were a young guy in the sixties you had but two choices for a crush: Annette Funicello or Hayley Mills.  Well, Annette looked way too much like my oldest sister, so twas Hayley who captured my heart, and has held it, Annabeth Gish notwithstanding, for lo these many decades.  Hard to believe she just turned 64 on April 18th (I know I'm late, so sue me, I can barely remember my own Mother's birthday every year) and is still a fine figger of a woman. 

Speaking of figures, Hayley's went bustin' out all over when she and Dad John Mills made "The Truth About Spring" together back in 1965, and juvenile roles like "PollyAnna" were gone forever.  I still count "The Chalk Garden" and "The Trouble With Angels" among my favorite cinematic films of all time, and her U.K. TV mini-series, "The Flame Trees of Thika,"  based on Elspeth Huxley's Kenya memoirs, is simply outstanding.   Happy Birthday, Hayley, I'm still available!  jay amicarella