"Thanksgiving Seconds" from Wheezer Doug Byers: "The following poem is one that my dad, Larry Byers, traditionally recited on Thanksgiving, after the meal, when we were all still sitting around the table and couldn’t eat another bite. "
O’Hara McSnort’s Thanksgiving
"Thanksgiving feasts," O’Hara said,
“Thanksgivings like this here
ain’t nuthin’ like the one we ate
in Wartleburg one year.
The champeen eaters all were there,
slack-stomached for the feast,
and we agreed the ones to pay
were those who ate the least.
Old Haskins up Frog Holler way,
and Uncle Peg-Leg Coon,
and Moses Hick across the crick,
and Bill and Doc McGoon,
and several others I can't name,
all lean and gaunted down,
sat stroppin’ knives upon their boots
while hundreds gathered ‘round
to see the Champeen Eating Race—
and when the judge yelled “Go!”
we started in deliberate,
devourin’ vittles slow.
“First came a chicken pie apiece,
with mushrooms sprinkled in;
and then we ate a quart of squash,
six ‘taters, and a tin
of piping biscuits, buttered hot,
with jam and apple jell,
and pickled beets ‘n’ celery—
‘twas here old Peg-Leg fell,
while several others looked quite pale
yet feebly carried on—
but when we reached the turkey course,
the most of them were gone.
“Each had a ten-pound turkey,
stuffed with nuts ‘n’ sage ‘n’ things.
I’d hardly ate a half before old
Bill and Haskins rings
their curtains down,
and off they drags on hands and knees—
which left just three,
old Doc McGoon, and me, and Adam Peas.
“We picked the turkeys bare,
and then came pies all freshly baked.
We had our choice of
apple, mince, or cherry, sugar-caked.
One bite of pie and old Doc slumped
and fainted in his chair.
But Adam Peas ‘n’ I ate ours—
and split the doctor’s share!
“But that fixed Adam. Mournfully,
he realized his fate.
His middle swelled so mightily
he couldn’t reach his plate.
So I cleaned the board, and rose,
disgusted with the bunch,
and wandered to the pantry,
where I fixed myself some lunch.”
Gobble, Gobble. How much food will we scarf tomorrow? Too much? Take a look at these numbers:
256 million: the approximate number of turkeys raised in the United States in 2005
649 million: the amount, in pounds, of cranberries produced in the U.S. in 2005
1.6 billion: the total weight, in pounds, of sweet potatoes grown in the United States in 2004
998 million: the total weight, in pounds, of pumpkins produced in 2004
Source: Fact Monster and U.S. Census Bureau
It was like walking back in time.... The Oregon Casket Company in NW Portland is slated to have some updating, and the current state of things are similar to what they were 100 years ago (in 1907).... the building was built in 1890, designed by the notable Portland architecture firm of Whidden & Lewis.
Blowtorch Entertainment today announced that it has secured more than $50 million in initial funding to create a media company for the young adult audience based on the belief that their media consumption behaviors require new rules for media creation, distribution and audience engagement.
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Unlike pure user-generated media, Blowtorch has an editorial vision that balances professional-grade production with user participation to create a consistently engaging experience. The Blowtorch experience includes full-length films, professional-grade shorts, an online community, mobile offerings, and live events. Founded in 2007, Blowtorch has assembled a diverse team of executives from the entertainment, marketing and technology industries with deep expertise creating media for young adults.
Hey - I love Apple, but NOT this like this chick -