Jay: STELLA!!! Brando is dead...
Tom: The Godfather is dead, Long live the Godfather!
Scott: Gee, he could have been a contender.....
Jay: Yeah, but God made him an offer he couldn't refuse...now he has to explain to Heaven why he tried to sing in Guys and Dolls.
Scott: Some people actually paid to have him not sing - did you hear that Steinway is donating the casket for his funeral, in gratitude?
Neil:
That is so fucking great,
Pack the fatass in a piano crate,
He ate too much so that heaven calls,
Brando was rotten in 'Guys and Dolls'
Bury him deep that bloated beast,
He's quite the buffet for the worms to feast,
Dig him up later from that hole,
Clean him up for his next film role.
Scott: That's GOLD, Neil! GOLD!"
Jay: My daughter and I watched Fatso the other night for the umpteenth time, where they bury Dom Deluise' cousin just that way. the coffin won't fit in the hearse, so they have to tow it behind on a flatbed trailer, then lower it into the ground with a boomtruck.
Mike: John Hillsbury said it was down to him and Brando for Stanley in Streetcar on Broadway. And John Hillsbury said, "Well, Marlon, if you really want the role that bad, you can have it." I somehow have a problem buying that one.
Jay: Murnin, you sure it wasn't for the role of Blanche?
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